secretory or factory?
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Jokes Corner
(580 posts)-
Salam
memberPosted 1 year ago on 26 Feb 2010 10:29 # -
OMG this is so funny lollzz...the whole fight was just on the misunderstanding on words secretory and factory....sucha joker member of PMLN hehe...thanks for the laughs
Posted 1 year ago on 26 Feb 2010 13:19 # -
LalBichoo
BlockedLOlzzz
Siddiqul Farooq is such a nut :))
In NS' second term he used to head HBFC !Posted 1 year ago on 26 Feb 2010 13:26 # -
Empty Seat
A Denver Broncos fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Mile High Stadium, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.
The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Craig Morton days, but now my wife is dead."
The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad that he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.
"Oh no." the guy said. "They're all at the funeral."
Posted 1 year ago on 26 Feb 2010 13:27 # -
Online Banking
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?
TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.
CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?
TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.
CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?
TECH: I'm not sure I understand?
CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
Posted 1 year ago on 27 Feb 2010 18:40 # -
aftab
Member@ Rhyme
I am a bit slow with jokes and life in general and not the sharpest to be around. Anyway the joke you told about the helicopter i thought once the men started clapping the women was obliged to let go of the rope and save the men. When i shared with my friends they made me realise that the women was fine its the men who got done by clapping and thus letting go of the rope.
Posted 1 year ago on 27 Feb 2010 22:57 # -
telengr
MemberA funny speech, about dogs. It gets funnier after a while...
Posted 1 year ago on 28 Feb 2010 5:49 # -
@aftab
yeah that is why the title of the joke was "The Power of Woman" as most of the women are known for emotional blackmailing lol ..here too that woman tried this ability of her and got succeeded at the end by letting all the men fell down!
Posted 1 year ago on 28 Feb 2010 7:46 # -
The Library
A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."
The librarian replies, "This is a library."
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."
Posted 1 year ago on 28 Feb 2010 15:21 # -
zingaro
Memberlolzzzzzz very good Rhyme ... Today I also got a joke in email and wanted to share with you guys ... It goes here:
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Sardar badly wanted to become a great man. So after a long research he made a new addition to Newton’s law.And was awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize for his new theory of Motion...
“ Loose motion can never be done in slow motion”
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 13:20 # -
Raavi
MemberZingaro,
Loved it! Dubai's environ is lively I believe!
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 15:33 # -
Raavi
MemberSiddique Farooq: More loyal than the king himself.
Wait Next time, he would get big reward (post) in NS's cabinet/government!
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 15:40 # -
netengr
blocked.http://www.magpk.com/jokes/
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 16:15 # -
Oh man that's sick! Netengr you too?
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 16:25 # -
zingaro
MemberGuys please let this thread for jokes only .... thanks in advance ...
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Mar 2010 16:45 # -
A Sardar thought "LOL" mean"Lots Of Love"...so one day his friend's mother died and Sardar sent him the following text...
"Sorry to hear about the death of your Mother,LOL,Your Friend"
Posted 1 year ago on 02 Mar 2010 14:32 # -
zingaro
MemberLOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ good one Rhyme :)
Posted 1 year ago on 02 Mar 2010 16:15 # -
aftab
MemberRUSSIA: We are the first in space.
USA: We are the first on the moon.
PAKISTAN: We will be the first on the sun.
USA: You can't land on the sun, it is to hot.
PAKISTAN: We are not stupid, we will go at night.
Posted 1 year ago on 02 Mar 2010 20:15 # -
Salam
member
Posted 1 year ago on 04 Mar 2010 15:00 # -
Amazing India
Posted 1 year ago on 06 Mar 2010 10:47 # -
Comments on PTI website by their fan club members after defeat in Pindi NA-55 are the best jokes and real LOL.
Posted 1 year ago on 07 Mar 2010 14:11 # -
zingaro
MemberJudge to the defendant: Do you have anything else of offer to the court before your sentencing is handed out?
Defendant: No your honor, my lawyer took my last dollar!
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Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a baby with blonde hair? They named her "Sum Ting Wong"
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So three girls are lined up on execution day, all charged with murder, and are destined to be shot one by one. There was a red head, a brunette, and a blond. The red head was first, the guard lined up his gun and the chief began to direct him with " READY, AIM. .." and the Red head yelled " TORNADO!" Everyone ducked to the ground and the red head escaped just in time. Next was the Brunette. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began to call out " READY, AIM.." And the brunette yelled out " HURRICANE!! " once again, everyone ducked and the brunette escaped. By now the blond was finally catching on. The guard re-lined up his gun and the chief began his call again " Ready, Aim!!" And the blond yelled " FIRE!"
Posted 1 year ago on 08 Mar 2010 14:01 # -
aftab
Member@ Zingaro
Classic jokes man, A+ for all three. Lol
Posted 1 year ago on 08 Mar 2010 14:11 # -
aristotle
MemberEik Sikh : mere Baap ne jang me 3 dushmano ki tangey kati
Dosra Sikh; Sir keo nahi kata?
Pehla: wo pehle he kooi kaat gaya tha:)
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 5:52 # -
aristotle
MemberBhayeo aur bheno
jaldi jaldi hans lo
kahen Farigh jazbati is thread ko bhi farigh na karadey:)Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 5:53 # -
mujh ko lagta hay wohh hum subko hi band karwa day ga .:):):)
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 6:10 # -
zingaro
Membergood joke aristotle :) i enjoyed that ..
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 6:36 # -
singh isking
MemberMan Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 9:12 # -
Daddy, were you in a war?
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves.
“Daddy, were you in a war?”
“Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be.
Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 12:45 # -
Army Cadet
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 12:47 # -
A new soldier was on sentry duty
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on the windshield.”
The general said, “Drive on!”
The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker.”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on!”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this.
Do I shoot you or the driver?
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 12:49 # -
zingaro
Memberhahahaa hilarious .. good joke RhyMe .. :) Thanks for sharing
Posted 1 year ago on 10 Mar 2010 15:17 # -
you're welcome...
Pagal Chinese say: Tum American ho?
Chinese: Nahi mey Chinese hun
Pagal: Nahi tum American ho
Chinese: Kaha na mey Chinese hun
Pagal:Jhoot mut bolo tum American hu
Chinese Ghussay sey: Han mey American hun to?
Pagal: Lagtey to Chinese hu.
Posted 1 year ago on 11 Mar 2010 18:26 # -
A Molvi to Zardari: Burey kam chor do warna Allah ka azab aeyga
Zardari: Buray kam tu Musharaf kar gaya tha main tu Azab hun
Posted 1 year ago on 11 Mar 2010 18:27 # -
This is called "Real Friendship"
Wife to her husband: Raat kahan thay
Husband: der ho gae thi tu dost key ghur stay ker lia tha
Wife ney ussi waqt phone utthaya or us key 10 best friends ko call ki..
8 ney kaha" Haan bhabhi wo raat merey pass tha"
or 2 ney kaha " Bhabhi wo so raha hey kahein tu uttha dun?"
Posted 1 year ago on 11 Mar 2010 18:31 # -
Eik Sardar pilot sey headphone cheen raha tha...
Pilot: Ye kia ker rahay ho bewakoof?
Sardar:Ticket hum dain aur ganey tum suno...wah bae wah..
Posted 1 year ago on 11 Mar 2010 18:34 # -
Bill not paid
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
Posted 1 year ago on 19 Mar 2010 16:00 # -
Aik Shaikh apney bachoon sey "Jo raat ko khana nahi khaeyga ussey 5 rupay milayn gayyy"
Sub bachey 5 rupay ley ker soo gaeyy
Subah hoe tu Shaikh apney bachun sey bola"Jo 5 rupay deyga ussay nashta mileyga"
Sub bachun ney wahi 5 roppay wapis keay or nashta kia.
Posted 1 year ago on 19 Mar 2010 16:02 # -
A Principal to a Pathan student: Scool ka time 8 bajey ka hey or tum 9:30 bajey a rahey ho?
Pathan Student: O Yara tum hamara intezar mat kia kero...school laga diya kero...
Teacher to a Punjabi: Qatil kisey kehtey hain?
Punjabi: Pata nai
Teacher(Ghussay sey): Agar tum apney baap ka qatal kerdo to tum kia kehlao gaaay?
Punjabi: "Yateem"
Posted 1 year ago on 19 Mar 2010 16:10 # -
50th Wedding Anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, wife notices a tear in his husband's eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.
Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you.
Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
Posted 1 year ago on 21 Mar 2010 12:25 # -
An elderly woman's portrait
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.
"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"
Posted 1 year ago on 23 Mar 2010 15:23 # -
Father: Beta mai tujhay is baar exam k baad bike zaroor dilaonga chahay tu pass ho ya fail..
Beta: waqai???
Father: han agar tu pass ho gaya tu Honda CG125 college janay k liye aur agar tu fail hoa tu Yamaha doodh cechnay k liye..Posted 1 year ago on 23 Mar 2010 15:43 # -
lolz@yamaha dhood bechnay key liye
Posted 1 year ago on 24 Mar 2010 11:47 # -
Asif Zardari Insan hay,Imandar hay,Bemisal hay,Sacha Pakistani Hay!!!
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April FooL!
Posted 1 year ago on 01 Apr 2010 13:13 # -
zingaro
Memberlolz @ April Fool ... RhyMe all of your jokes are good and i really enjoy them reading ....
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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer.
A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though.
One of the blondes says, "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"
Posted 1 year ago on 03 Apr 2010 14:56 # -
zingaro
MemberWhen I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your
grandmother?" I asked."Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."
Posted 1 year ago on 03 Apr 2010 14:58 # -
zingaro
MemberA police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...
Posted 1 year ago on 03 Apr 2010 15:01 # -
No Great Loss
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Posted 1 year ago on 05 Apr 2010 14:07 # -
zingaro
Memberlolz .. good joke RhyMe
Posted 1 year ago on 07 Apr 2010 9:53 # -
Magic of the Internet
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom.
Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
Posted 1 year ago on 07 Apr 2010 14:44 #
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